Finally an update!

It's ages since I added to this blog. Life has been pretty busy with lots going on.

Firstly I have been back to the surgeon for a follow up appointment. It didn't go as well as I would have liked. I was still getting quite swollen and didn't like the shape of my legs. The surgeon said it would still be a few more months to really settle down. He also spoke about further repairs on my legs and under my arm. Due to the amount of skin taken, there is always going to be some loosening of the skin. He isn't able to stretch the skin too far due to the way it all heals. I still have a handful of skin at the top of my leg that needs to be removed and a couple of tucks in the scar under my arm that can be repaired. He was aiming for December to do the surgery. Of course saying again it won't be as bad as what I have already had done!!! Ha Ha!! What would he know!!! Anyway, there was no way I could even consider more surgery in December. I just couldn't go through that again this year. I haven't done anything further about it at this stage. I am thinking about winter next year. I need to give my body time to recover properly and for me to feel comfortable with the body I have been left with. I want to make sure I am as fit and healthy as I can be, physically and emotionally.

Last week was the 1 year anniversary since my first surgery. I had an emotional couple of days having flashbacks of the experience. These flashbacks weren't pleasant. I was realising just what I went through. I am told to gain strength from what I survived and achieved, but emotionally I just can't get there yet. I still look in the mirror and see a body out of proportion. I still have nights where I am so swollen I forget that I have lost weight. Every step I take when I run I can feel my scars. It's like I have elastic band around my hips still.

I am happy most of the time though. But this is a long, hard journey of discovering the body I am able to have. I have to keep reminding myself that I am fit and healthy and can do so much more now than I used to be able to.

Last weekend was the Melbourne Marathon and I ran in the 5.5km event again. I had a goal of finishing in around 45 minutes. I did it in just over 43 minutes so I was thrilled. The course was different to last year and for me, a little tougher. But what also made me happy was I beat my 16 year old nephew by 7 minutes!!!! He told me he had been training, so my goal of beating him was put on the back burner as I didn't think I could beat him if he was fit. I had even made a bet with him of if he won I gave him $10 and if I won then he had to wash my car. We have the same bet for when we go to the basketball to watch Tigers V Townsville. I was sure I would be giving him $10 for our race but confident my Tigers wouldn't let me down!!! He thought it was going to be the easiest $20 he ever made!!! Well, my money has stayed in my pocket!!!! Of course I didn't rub it in as I could see he was a bit embarrassed that his nearly 40 year old aunt had beaten him!!!

When I think I only started exercising 3 years ago, and running about 18 months ago, I have to be happy and pleased with myself at what I have been able to achieve.

Andrew has been super supportive as ever and during my emotional times says all the right things to help me through it.

I am planning on getting on my push bike again as it has sat in the shed for quite some time. I bought a pump to pump up the tyres, so no excuses now. I am also hoping to do some more swimming again. With daylight savings and the warmer weather on the way, I can't put it off anymore!!

Sick of the swelling!!!

It's been a while since I wrote on my blog, so I thought I had better update my record of this journey!!

It is over three months now since my last surgery and I am still experiencing swelling. The surgeon did tell me to expect swelling until at least August, but as the weeks progress, I hope for a faster loss of the swelling. My legs are slowly returning to a normal shape, but still have a way to go. Around my middle is what really annoys me. The swelling goes up and down. Some days I feel like I have a beach ball under my skin, and other days its hardly noticeable. I have tried to work out what causes more swelling, but haven't found anything conclusive.

I know that if I have a day in the office for work, rather than being out on the road visiting clients, I have more swelling at the end of the day. Exercise and resting seem to have varying affects on the swelling. I get very frustrated with the swelling and have days of feeling very down about the way I look. I still struggle with accepting the way I look is because of the swelling. Body image is such a huge thing. It is hard getting used to such a different body and discovering what is "normal" for me. I still don't know how my body is going to end up like.

I am exercising a minimum of 1 hour a day and trying to tone up underneath the swelling!!! I am able to run again and am really pleased to be running up to 5km again. I still feel every step in terms of where I have had surgery, but I can ignore it now!! I love the feeling after a run. It's great to make my body work hard!!!

Progressing well

I am approaching the three month mark since surgery and I finally feel I can see an end to the "recovery process".

I have much greater movement in my legs and can kneel now for a short time. My legs don't have as much pain, and usually only when I have had a big day. The right leg is worse than the left, and some days the left leg doesn't give me any trouble.

The swelling is the hardest thing to cope with still. My legs are still quite swollen. Some days I think I notice a big change, but then the next I get discouraged again. But they are definitely getting smaller! - slowly!!! I still have some swelling around my middle. That swelling goes up and down depending on the time of day and what sort of activity I have done during the day.

I am able to exercise daily, but to no where near the intensity that I am used to. But any exercise is better than none and while my heart doesn't get to pump as fast as it can, my legs are managing to tone up under all the swelling.

My arms are usually ok, I get some sore spots, but I can reach up without as much pain. I get a funny sensation around my elbows which is possibly the nerves repairing themselves.

I am often asked am I glad I had the surgery. I can now say, I am glad, but I wish I had a better idea of the recovery process. I suppose the surgeon and the nurses can only go by a general level of information as everyone is different. But I feel I wasn't warned enough about the length of time for recovery. (Or maybe I chose not to retain that part of the information given!!!)

I certainly love the range of clothes I can now wear, and shopping is so much more fun and less embarrassing. I like feeling like I am in the "normal" size range and if anyone looks twice at me on the street, I know it is not to get a second look at the really big woman!!

Andrew and I had the most fantastic weekend staying at The Windsor. We really treated ourselves and enjoyed every minute of our time. And it was so exciting to fit into the bath robe supplied!!!!

Fitting into my skin!!

Today I have had a day where I have been confident with how I look. Also a day that I feel like my body and the swelling haven't let me down. Some days I get really frustrated with the swelling and feel really discouraged that all this pain and discomfort has been a waste of time. But today as I have said in the title, I feel I had a day of fitting into my skin!!! Funny thing to say, but it describes how it feels to have such a different body to what I am used to.

To mark this day, I took the above photos. I purposely didn't take my face, but the parts of my body that have given me a real boost today.

In regards to healing, it still continues to be a slow process. I am happy though that the infected spots are all healing quite quickly. I only have one small spot on my right leg now. The pain and stiffness in my legs is slowly going and I can have moments of not even feeling any discomfort in them. The end of the day is a different story, but that is to be expected. The swelling is taking the longest to heal, but I have been doing a bit of reading, and see that this length of time is quite normal. Changing position, whether while in bed or getting out of a chair or in and out of the car is what gives me the most trouble. But that is getting less now, and as long as I don't stay in the same position for too long, I am ok.

So, it is the time to keep positive, and hang onto the confidence I feel today. And then to remember to use these great feelings to pick me up the next time I am feeling down and unsure of the whole process.

Six Weeks Post Surgery and Back to Work!!

I have had my first week back at work, and let me tell you, I am glad it is the weekend!!!

I was tired every day by 3pm but I managed. I was able to think clearly enough to get paperwork done and I had enough energy to visit clients. So I am pleased with that. Of course my diary filled up quickly but keeping busy is good also. It was great to think that in the 6th week post surgery I was able to handle being back at work again. And it was no where near as difficult or emotional as returning after my first surgery.

I have also enjoyed wearing some new clothes!!!

The swelling is still slowly going down on my legs and my infected spots are improving. I still seem to have an increase of swelling around my middle by the end of the day, which mostly goes down by the morning. I had another little spot open up on my right leg, but nothing too serious. I am finding that the spots that open up and ooze have a tiny stitch in them. The stitch eventually comes out after a couple of days - or if I pull hard enough on it - but that hurts. The stitches are just under the surface of the skin. Hopefully there aren't too many more.

I have tried to start a bit of exercise as I was feeling too sluggish with not doing anything structured. I have made sure I keep as active as possible, but I have been missing that feeling of having a good walk or a session of aerobics. I have had a couple of easy walks, one for 30 minutes and one today for 50 minutes with a few hills. I also tried a very easy, gentle 30 minute walk aerobics. I can tell you I felt every single step!! My legs hurt with each step, but not so badly that I had to stop. Generally I now have a feeling of a tight band around my knee and thigh area rather than pain. I get a stinging feeling where I have infected spots, but that settles after a while.

As for my arms, the scars have healed really well now and even starting to fade a bit. I still get a few twinges of pain around the elbow area, and reaching high is still a bit painful, but otherwise my arms are doing really well. I still have a little spot along the bra line scar that is open, but in the past few days it has gotten a lot smaller and doesn't ooze anymore.

Some days I still get very frustrated and low about how I feel and how long it seems to be taking to feel ok again, but last Thursday when I realised it was 6 weeks since surgery, I thought to myself that for 6 weeks post surgery, I am not doing too badly. I am such an impatient person!!!

I am starting to enjoy my body and my new shape. Andrew is so great encouraging me and telling me how great I look. I am enjoying the way I look in some of my new clothes. I am totally different to how I have been my whole life. I still catch myself in mirrors when I am out and can't believe it is me staring back at me! If I am having a confident day, I sneak a look at myself in anything that gives a reflection!!!!

Recovery progress continues.............

I am so pleased to be able to report that I am feeling so much better. I have much less pain and I only have one infected spot left. My movement is getting easier and I'm not as stiff when I change position. I am even able to manage a bit of shopping now!!!

I saw my surgeon the other day and I wasn't entirely thrilled with that visit. He advised me that the swelling would take another 3 months to go down. My thighs are still quite swollen, the right is worse than the left. He didn't seem to be able to give me any other information about the recovery and the expected results as he also has to wait for the swelling to go down. He has told me there may be small areas where the skin is a bit puckered that may need a bit of work. AAARRGGHHH, I don't know if I can stand anymore procedures!! Anyway, I don't have to see him again for another 3 months.

I am going back to work on Monday. I will go straight back into full time work, but my manager has been great saying I can take Wednesday off if I am getting too tired. I am ready to go back to work, I'm getting tired of being in the house all the time. I have started going out a lot though for a few hours at a time. I get a bit tired but its manageable.

Along with all the physiological changes to get used to, there are a lot of emotional and psychological things to work through. I see every little imperfection on my body and sometimes blow it right out of proportion. Its not that I want a perfect body, because what is a perfect body anyway! I just want to feel like I have a normal body, and a body that I am happy with and can be proud of the work I have done. When I see the swelling around my middle or on my legs, I don't always think clearly and rather than see it as swelling I see it as me getting bigger. Andrew is great at getting me back to reality and he is so supportive and encouraging. His words are often enough to fix my thoughts, but this thinking is part of the process also. I have been a certain size for all my life, and I have only had this new body for a short time. The way I perceive myself has a great impact on my confidence and belief in what I have achieved. Sometimes it is daunting when I think about my whole lifestyle change and that it has to be for life. I can't just relax now and think that is all I have to do! I am looking forward to being able to get back into my routine of exercise and the eating plan I have when I am at work and then the weekends. I feel safe when I have that routine. That is the routine that works for me!!

As I have gotten better over the past few weeks, my favourite thing to do is to look through my cook books and try recipes I have always wanted to make. I love cooking, and find it very relaxing and therapeutic. The challenge is to find good, healthy things to bake and cook, or to adapt the favourites so that they can be enjoyed without too much guilt!

Well, I hope to continue with the positive steps of recovery that I have been having. Next hurdle is getting back into work!!

These are the balloons my sister organised to be delivered to me!!

Three weeks after surgery...........

This time last week I was in agony!! I was feeling so sorry for myself and had the old feelings of what on earth have I done to myself and why on earth did I do it!! The day I am talking about is the day after having the staples and stitches taken out of my legs and arms. Having them taken out was an extremely painful and traumatic experience. It was so unpleasant and the nurse was being so careful and taking good care of me while doing it. She did it slowly and in stages, swapping areas to give each part of my body a rest. I can tell you I did lots of slow deep breathing and sipping water!! I was hoping for a sense of relief once they were all out, but what I got was a few days of trying to recover from the ordeal. The couple of infection spots made it a more painful experience also. I didn't think I could make it through it all and even almost asked for my mum to be brought in to hold my hand!!! I felt I had gone backwards in my recovery and couldn't help but cry into my mum's arms feeling so distraught. I was now having more trouble walking and I couldn't get comfortable in any position.

But, one week on, I am happy to report that I am starting to feel improvements in my legs and arms. The swelling is slowly going down on my legs and I can see the shape of my knee again and the dreaded veins that pop out!!! I can walk a lot easier and with much less discomfort now. My upper thighs are the worst affected and still get in the way of each other!!! I am able to stand without my legs feeling like they are heavy tree trunks and my legs bend a lot easier at the knee. My arms still have a few tender spots and some quite red areas. The infected spots on my legs and arms are healing very well now and don't ooze anymore. I have a morning routine of sitting on the bed (in a very unladylike position) and using the hair dryer to dry my legs and arms. This was recommended by my mum who we affectionately call "Matron". (She was a nurse many years ago). I then put betadine on the bits that need it and wait for everything to dry again. I think this has really helped. The bruising all over my body is fading and only a few spots still look like I have been bashed about.

Its amazing what a week can do for you. I am hoping that this time next week I will be almost back to normal.

Just to finish this note, I thought a pleasant photo of Thomas was needed!!! He makes me smile everyday!!!

Recovery Time Again!!

Well, it is Day 14 since my surgery and it has been tough going!!

Having an inner thigh reduction has been painful!! My legs are very swollen and bruised and I have a long suture line of staples from my groin down to my calf! My legs feel like tree trunks and walking has been an interesting experience!! Not to mention sitting!!

I am wearing a body suit that makes going to the toilet a complete production. I am sure a man designed it.

My arms have been done and they are getting better at a quicker rate than my legs. The first couple of days I could hardly move them, but that is much easier now. I can't reach up very well, but at least I can wash my hair now.

I had to go the first week without a shower. I found this very difficult. I hate not showering daily and with the body suit, the oozing and the difficulties when on the toilet made me feel very miserable. I had a complete change of mood, motivation and thinking once I had my first shower.

Anyway, taking a step back to surgery day, I was drawn on extensively by the surgeon. I couldn't believe the amount of work he was going to be doing and I suddenly got quite nervous and fearful of how I would cope. Surgery went for a lot longer than anticipated. I was in surgery for 8 hours. But I didn't have any complications like last time, and my blood pressure stayed as it should. I have had another 8kg of skin removed, along with whatever came off with the parts that I had liposuction.

Running faster!

I just wanted to record an achievement that I am a bit proud of!!

There is a track not far from my home that I run around. Before surgery last year, I could run it in about 7 - 8 minutes. About two weeks ago, I ran it in 4 minutes!!! I couldn't believe it. Then, a couple of days ago, I ran it in 3 minutes 48 seconds!!! I felt I like I was running faster than I used to, but that sort of improvement really surprised and thrilled me!!!

My goal was always to be fit again ready for the second surgery. With it being booked a lot sooner than first thought, I was worried I wasn't putting myself in the best possible position for a good recovery, but after taking note of this running achievement, I think I am fitter than what I was thinking!! I still have a constant feeling that I am wearing a belt that is a bit tight, but it doesn't bother me as much and some days I hardly notice it.

I am feeling positive again!

Is that my shadow???

I decided to have a walk this morning instead of a run. It was a glorious morning and the sun was shining. During a part of the walk the sun was over my shoulder, providing me with a full length shadow just in front of me. It took me a while to realise it was my shadow. I just couldn't believe that it was a reflection of my body. I suddenly realised that I have been getting too discouraged about the parts of my body that aren't quite right yet instead of being encouraged by the parts that are looking quite good and show my hard work. I'm not looking to be a "super model" or anything, but to have a body that reflects all the work I have put in to it and that it shows my fittness. Even with this upcoming surgery I know I won't be perfect, but what is perfect anyway?? I am still getting used to having a body this size. It is totally new to me. So the journey continues................

While I was out walking, a lady who was working in her garden asked me "is it all worth it?" Without hesitation I said "It sure is". I was thinking that not only is the exercise good for strengthening my heart, lungs, muscles and my general health and fitness, but it lifts my mood and confidence in myself. It is a great way to keep the mental health in good shape also! So how could it not be worth it!!!!

Next Surgery Date Set!!!

WOW, I can't believe that after such a long wait last year for my first surgery, the second one is happening in under 2 weeks!!!! Hardly enough time to work out how many sleeps to go!!

I had decided on booking the surgery in May, but then there were no spots free in May anymore and the next available was July!!! OOOOHHHH I couldn't wait that long. Then I was told that there was a spot on the 27th March! The initial problem with this date was it is on a Thursday, and as the private hospital I go to closes at lunch time on Saturdays, I would only have 2 nights in hospital, and the surgeon would have liked 3 at least. So, after discussions between the surgeon and the nursing staff, he said if I was happy to take the chance that 2 nights would be enough, then he would do the surgery on the 27th March!!! So, with a lot of emotion, I took the the 27th March!! When I got off the phone from booking it, I just burst into tears.

That fits in perfectly with my leave that was already planned, and Andrew will also be on leave. The one little glitch is that my parents leave to visit my sister in New Zealand on the 31st March!! So, no mum helping out when I am home from hospital, and of course, no sister! But with Andrew on leave, that helps. And now my dear friend Nat who is a Nurse is going to stay a couple of days to help Andrew out! So, I feel more than confident that I will be well cared for!! Mum will stay a few days when they get home from New Zealand.

I have many feelings about this second surgery. I get quite spooked when I think about waking up from the anaesthetic and how yukky that feels. I can't wait to be rid of the extra skin still flopping around, especially on my legs, but I'm not looking forward to the slow process of recovery. Well it is all going to be another adventure, but at least I don't have so much of the unknown this time. The surgeon keeps promising me it won't be nearly as major as the first one and I won't feel as bad. Oh I hope not!

I am really starting to feel a lot better. I still have a dressing on over the hole, but it is much smaller and doesn't ooze nearly as much. I have been doing a bit of jogging and not suffering as much afterwards. I can now go a few hours without even noticing that I have had surgery around my middle. Psychologically I have improved heaps, just hearing from the surgeon how well my recovery has been going and that I am ready for the next surgery. Looking in the mirror isn't as hard now, knowing it will all change again in a couple of weeks.

Thanks again for all your support.

Back to the GP and the Surgeon!

I went back to my GP about my "hole". He was a little concerned that it had gotten deeper, so he decided to send me for blood tests to make sure there wasn't a deep infection and also checked to make sure I hadn't developed diabetes, this being another explanation for taking so long to heal. He also suggested that I consider an ultra sound on the area to ensure there is no fluid build up. He also suggested I see my surgeon sooner rather than later.

I saw the surgeon on Friday afternoon, and in his typical fashion, wasn't too concerned about the hole but did acknowledge that 4 1/2 months was a long time to still have this trouble. He advised I stop packing the hole with gauze and he felt it would heal up ok. If it didn't heal very soon, or if it broke down again, he would have me in the hospital for a day procedure where he cut that section open, fixed whatever was causing the problem, and sew it all back up again. He said it could just be a dead fat cell that hadn't dissolved, or something like that!!!

But besides the hole, he was very pleased with how my skin had toned up where it should, and loosened where it should. He is now keen to complete the work. He didn't think it was important to wait until the hole heals or wait any extended time. Unfortunately he is booked when I have my annual leave planned in April, and as I don't have sick leave due now until October, I can't just book surgery until I sort out my leave from work. He is available in May, so after a preliminary discussion with my manager to determine if I could change my leave, I now have a few decisions to make!! The surgeon promises me that the second surgery will be no where near as difficult or major as the first. The tidy up he has to do on my stomach is very minimal recovery, my arms will be about a 10 day recover, but my legs will be the major thing to recover from.

I will receive his surgery quote in the mail this week, so once I have that, and have decided what I really want to do, and made sure I wasn't going to upset too many people by changing my leave, I will know what the near future holds. Of course I was really looking forward to having 3 weeks holiday and Andrew and I were planning on going away. I have been so busy at work and have had some very stressful situations to deal with, so time off that wasn't spent getting over surgery was looking very attractive. My manager suggested I take a week off with Easter so that I have a bit of a break and I don't use up too much of my annual leave. So that was really thoughtful of her.

The latest news of Andrew's shoulder is his physio was concerned about one particular movement that Andrew still couldn't do. He was worried that the bones were causing the problem rather than a muscular thing. The phsyio talked to Andrew's surgeon, who then instructed X -Rays be taken and said Andrew needed to see him in the next 2 weeks. There has been some talk that Andrew may need surgery to adjust the pins. Andrew isn't keen on more surgery, but I am encouraging him to just wait to see what the surgeon says.

So that is the news of the two invalids!!! What a pair we are hey!! I suppose it helps us to both understand the frustrations of surgery and its recovery.

Needed jeans already!!!

I had been holding off buying jeans until my open wound was all healed and the swelling had gone down. But with the cooler weather we have been having I couldn't wait any longer!! It was hard finding jeans that fit well all over, as quite often with pants, I find to get a waist that fits well, the leg is too small. Boy it will be good to have the skin taken from my legs!!!

Anyway, I managed to find a pair that weren't too expensive, and I am quite happy with them. I also gained a few nice comments about my butt in them too!!!! (Always like to hear that!!)

Well I am still having trouble with an open wound that is referred to now as my "hole". The GP took a swab that came back all clear, so that is good, no bacteria. But he decided that for it to heal properly from the inside out, it needed to be filled with packing gauze!!! He told me it could take up to 4 weeks to heal properly. I am in week 3 now and I am fed up!! I have another appointment to see him next week. The cavity has changed somewhat. It has had some improvement but the hole is quite deep and I am still able to fill it with quite a length of the ribbon gauze. I can't contain the ooze in the waterproof dressing that I put over the top of it. I get a terrible rash from the dressing, but the pharmacist helped out with that one and suggested a skin prep wipe that I put on my skin which then acts as a barrier, so my poor skin doesn't get ripped off every time I have to change the dressing. My skin even started bleeding for a while. The rash is much improved now though.

I still get very frustrated with the amount of swelling I get at the end of the day. It's not so bad if I am just going to bed, but when I am going out and want to wear closer fitting tops, I feel too self conscious about the swelling showing. Plus I still have some loose skin that needs to be taken care of with the next surgery.

I am trying to have some days of more intense exercise as I miss the jogging. I miss the feeling it gives me and how I feel after a good sweat!! But I can't do it too often as I still suffer for a few days afterwards of increased discomfort around the scar line and stiffness when bending or twisting. And of course it doesn't help the hole!!! It can get quite sore if I have been too active.

But, I am still surviving, and some days I feel quite good and hardly notice that I have had surgery.

Thanks to all of you who read my blog and give me such wonderful support and feedback. I suppose we all have to "hang in there" with some aspect of our lives!!!

Still waiting for full recovery..............

Well this isn't the best photo of my face!! I don't seem to be able to smile and not talk when a photo is being taken!!

I have been really enjoying the range of skirts that suit me now!! I used to have to stick to the skirts that pretty much just hung down! I am dressed for a day of client visits in this picture!

Well, I am still waiting to have the feeling of full recovery! I still have a dressing on a spot that is still oozing. I know the saying is better out than in, but it is driving me nuts!! My poor skin around the spot is not coping with the tape that has to be continually put on and ripped off. I still have swelling in that area and I still get swelling on my tummy at the end of the day. The level of soreness changes each day depending on what I have been doing. I am desperate to increase the intensity of my exercise, but when I do a decent jog or have a really big hill walk, I suffer for it for a few days. I am so fed up with that!!

I have been in communication with my surgeon's nurse, but they just give a sympathetic response and tell me to keep in touch particularly if the open wound site looks red and inflamed or if I become unwell. I am going to see my GP tomorrow and get him to have a good look at the wound and see what suggestions or help he can give me. It is approaching 4 months since surgery and I just didn't expect to still be having these troubles at this stage. This is the stage I was hoping to be considering the next stage of surgery. But that is way, way off at this stage. I still have days where I am quite emotional and low about the whole experience. One night I just wanted to scream to have the skin put back on me. That was a night that I couldn't even get relief from the tight and sore feeling while laying in bed.

I am disappointed that it is taking so long to recover, especially as I worked so hard pre surgery to be at my absolute fittest. We just can't predict what our bodies will do, or how it will respond to stress and trauma.

But on the positive side, I still get such lovely encouragement from people and I am loving the shopping and being able to go into what ever shop I like!! I have to be grateful that I am able to work full time again and that I can do some form of exercise daily. I am also pleased that I have maintained my change in what I eat. I can confidently say that I have made lifestyle changes that will last my life time to ensure that I don't put weight back on again. Of course I have treats like dark chocolate, but I had always incorporated treats into my diet. Lifestyle change isn't about depriving yourself of everything you enjoy!!

So, here's hoping for advances in my recovery....................

2008 - A new year, A new me???

Work update:

I am now back at work Full Time with my full client group. It has been so busy and I have put in extra hours to keep up with the work load. This makes me tired and I just can't be bothered getting on the computer at home in the evenings. But I am managing work and I am enjoying that adrenalin rush of 51 things happening at once!!! Something I'm not happy with is that at then end of a working day, my tummy swells up like a beach ball. One night Andrew commented I looked pregnant!!! (He did get away with that one as I thought the same!) Then by the next morning the swelling has all gone again. When I am in the office, I try not to be sitting at the computer for long periods and get up for a wander around. I still worry a bit when visiting clients that I have a seat that doesn't cause me discomfort. I still can't manage my couch unless I have heaps of pillows behind me. But all in all, it is good to be back at work and feeling like life is getting back to normal.


Scar line update:

It is almost 3 months since my surgery. I still have the feeling of tightness around my hips and across my front. I am not happy that I still have one little spot that I need a dressing on. I still have a bit of discharge from that area. That area still has swelling also, giving me a bit of a funny shape. I get an aching back when I have overdone it a bit but I am using anti-inflammatory cream which is helping. My movement is getting better. I can bend down easier and twist around easier, but it still gives me a bit of a pulling feeling. This past week though I feel like I haven't had any improvement in how I generally feel. It is hard to know if I am overdoing it, or something else is going on.

Exercise update:

I am exercising every day for around 30 - 40 minutes. I started jogging again and slowly built it up to 30 minute jog one day. But I then suffered for a couple of days for doing that much activity . So I have stuck to shorter bursts of jogging. But this past week when I have jogged, I have had too much discomfort for a few days, so I have decided to stick to walking again for a bit longer. I find the hills to walk so that I feel I have challenged myself.

Next surgery:

I see the surgeon again at the end of March. We will have more discussion then about my next surgery. I don't want to have it until I feel no ill affects from this first one. I just couldn't cope with more stress on my body. I have days of feeling very discouraged by how long it is taking to recover and start to doubt if I will ever feel ok. I couldn't start another recovery process before fully recovering this time.

Shopping update:

I am building up a new wardrobe. But pants I bought a month ago are too big now due to the swelling going down. So I have learnt how to put tucks in my pants!! It is hard to find clothes that suit my odd shape. (I feel it is odd, Andrew tells me it isn't!!). Some pants don't suit if the leg isn't wide enough. I have a small waist, but my legs still have the skin hanging off! I have learnt to look for low or mid rise pants with wide leg fit!!! It is a whole new experience being able to go into any of the clothes shops! I don't feel out of place anymore, like I did when I went shopping with friends or my sister.

I still try to stay positive about progress, it can't get any worse can it!!!!