I am so pleased to be able to report that I am feeling so much better. I have much less pain and I only have one infected spot left. My movement is getting easier and I'm not as stiff when I change position. I am even able to manage a bit of shopping now!!!
I saw my surgeon the other day and I wasn't entirely thrilled with that visit. He advised me that the swelling would take another 3 months to go down. My thighs are still quite swollen, the right is worse than the left. He didn't seem to be able to give me any other information about the recovery and the expected results as he also has to wait for the swelling to go down. He has told me there may be small areas where the skin is a bit puckered that may need a bit of work. AAARRGGHHH, I don't know if I can stand anymore procedures!! Anyway, I don't have to see him again for another 3 months.
I am going back to work on Monday. I will go straight back into full time work, but my manager has been great saying I can take Wednesday off if I am getting too tired. I am ready to go back to work, I'm getting tired of being in the house all the time. I have started going out a lot though for a few hours at a time. I get a bit tired but its manageable.
Along with all the physiological changes to get used to, there are a lot of emotional and psychological things to work through. I see every little imperfection on my body and sometimes blow it right out of proportion. Its not that I want a perfect body, because what is a perfect body anyway! I just want to feel like I have a normal body, and a body that I am happy with and can be proud of the work I have done. When I see the swelling around my middle or on my legs, I don't always think clearly and rather than see it as swelling I see it as me getting bigger. Andrew is great at getting me back to reality and he is so supportive and encouraging. His words are often enough to fix my thoughts, but this thinking is part of the process also. I have been a certain size for all my life, and I have only had this new body for a short time. The way I perceive myself has a great impact on my confidence and belief in what I have achieved. Sometimes it is daunting when I think about my whole lifestyle change and that it has to be for life. I can't just relax now and think that is all I have to do! I am looking forward to being able to get back into my routine of exercise and the eating plan I have when I am at work and then the weekends. I feel safe when I have that routine. That is the routine that works for me!!
As I have gotten better over the past few weeks, my favourite thing to do is to look through my cook books and try recipes I have always wanted to make. I love cooking, and find it very relaxing and therapeutic. The challenge is to find good, healthy things to bake and cook, or to adapt the favourites so that they can be enjoyed without too much guilt!
Well, I hope to continue with the positive steps of recovery that I have been having. Next hurdle is getting back into work!!
These are the balloons my sister organised to be delivered to me!!
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