It's ages since I added to this blog. Life has been pretty busy with lots going on.
Firstly I have been back to the surgeon for a follow up appointment. It didn't go as well as I would have liked. I was still getting quite swollen and didn't like the shape of my legs. The surgeon said it would still be a few more months to really settle down. He also spoke about further repairs on my legs and under my arm. Due to the amount of skin taken, there is always going to be some loosening of the skin. He isn't able to stretch the skin too far due to the way it all heals. I still have a handful of skin at the top of my leg that needs to be removed and a couple of tucks in the scar under my arm that can be repaired. He was aiming for December to do the surgery. Of course saying again it won't be as bad as what I have already had done!!! Ha Ha!! What would he know!!! Anyway, there was no way I could even consider more surgery in December. I just couldn't go through that again this year. I haven't done anything further about it at this stage. I am thinking about winter next year. I need to give my body time to recover properly and for me to feel comfortable with the body I have been left with. I want to make sure I am as fit and healthy as I can be, physically and emotionally.
Last week was the 1 year anniversary since my first surgery. I had an emotional couple of days having flashbacks of the experience. These flashbacks weren't pleasant. I was realising just what I went through. I am told to gain strength from what I survived and achieved, but emotionally I just can't get there yet. I still look in the mirror and see a body out of proportion. I still have nights where I am so swollen I forget that I have lost weight. Every step I take when I run I can feel my scars. It's like I have elastic band around my hips still.
I am happy most of the time though. But this is a long, hard journey of discovering the body I am able to have. I have to keep reminding myself that I am fit and healthy and can do so much more now than I used to be able to.
Last weekend was the Melbourne Marathon and I ran in the 5.5km event again. I had a goal of finishing in around 45 minutes. I did it in just over 43 minutes so I was thrilled. The course was different to last year and for me, a little tougher. But what also made me happy was I beat my 16 year old nephew by 7 minutes!!!! He told me he had been training, so my goal of beating him was put on the back burner as I didn't think I could beat him if he was fit. I had even made a bet with him of if he won I gave him $10 and if I won then he had to wash my car. We have the same bet for when we go to the basketball to watch Tigers V Townsville. I was sure I would be giving him $10 for our race but confident my Tigers wouldn't let me down!!! He thought it was going to be the easiest $20 he ever made!!! Well, my money has stayed in my pocket!!!! Of course I didn't rub it in as I could see he was a bit embarrassed that his nearly 40 year old aunt had beaten him!!!
When I think I only started exercising 3 years ago, and running about 18 months ago, I have to be happy and pleased with myself at what I have been able to achieve.
Andrew has been super supportive as ever and during my emotional times says all the right things to help me through it.
I am planning on getting on my push bike again as it has sat in the shed for quite some time. I bought a pump to pump up the tyres, so no excuses now. I am also hoping to do some more swimming again. With daylight savings and the warmer weather on the way, I can't put it off anymore!!
