So many thoughts running through my head.........

I have some very different feelings about myself now. I am working hard on believing I can be skinny and that I will be a skinny person. I think that is hard to grasp. I have never been a skinny person!! I won't have a belly sticking out - or hanging down as it does now with the skin!! I will look totally different. I sometimes get the feeling that I am cheating having the surgery, that after 4 weeks away from work, I will come back and people will think I have lost a heap of weight. I will have a shape to my body that wasn't as obvious before. I will need different clothes again. I know I have done the hard work to get to this point, but it just feels like I am having the easy way to get to the shapely me!

But then my thinking switches, and I tell myself that I am shapely already and I have a figure, it is just hidden by the skin. I have to stand or bend in a certain way to see that it is ALL skin. Otherwise you could think it was fat still! But I want to believe the surgeon and live confidently that I have reached this point with all my hard work and determination.

I am more confident to lose these last kgs now, knowing that most of what I see is skin. I don't want to slacken off with my exercise and what I eat because I want to be in tip top shape and come out of the surgery at a great weight!! I can't stop what I am doing anyway, as it is my lifestyle now!! I don't want to make the mistake that it is all finished now and I can go back to old ways. OOOOHHHH Yuk, I don't want the old ways again. I like my new body (except the skin) and I love what my body can now do!! I love that I get itchy feet for the weekend so that I can get out for a run and walk. I love that a complete day for me is one that includes exercise and that I get up at 5.15am during the week to fit the exercise into my day, and I love that I can say no to fatty and sugary foods.

So many people acknowledge that weight loss involves a lot of mental change as well as physical and that is so correct. We get used to knowing ourselves as a certain type of person, with particular things we can or can't do, or will or won't try. That changes so much. Getting used to those changes is part of the battle.

I suppose I have to deal with these things as they arise. I can't predict how I will always feel or respond, as things about me seem to be changing so much and so often.

Well, life is a journey of learning and discovering after all!!