Cut out comparisons!!

I made these cut outs of myself to get a glimpse of the change in me!! I can't believe the difference!! The smaller me was taken not long after surgery, so I have quite a bit of swelling still.

Back to the Surgeon

I saw the Surgeon again on Friday as I was still in so much discomfort and the swelling hadn't gone down at all. Thankfully the tests results came back all clear, so there is no nasty bug causing the fluid. The Surgeon said it is because it was such a huge surgery that I am having this trouble.

The Surgeon has been great. I didn't have a scheduled appointment on Friday, but he just fit me in. His secretary and his nurse have also been so lovely and supportive. It is worth the money we have paid for his services.

The Surgeon put more needles in my tummy and took out about a 1/2 cup of fluid this time. He was pressing so hard on my tummy that I was left feeling very sore. But 24 hours later, that pain had gone. I also have to wear the bandage around my tummy again.

Today I feel like the swelling has gone down a bit. I am still oozing from a couple of spots and having to change the dressing twice a day. When I look in the mirror now, I can see some sort of normal shape appearing. That helps the way I feel. So maybe I am "turning the corner" again!!

Mum is whisking me off to their place in Echuca (my favourite spot) after my Surgeon's appointment on Wednesday. I must say I am looking forward to being looked after again and not having to worry about the daily chores around the house. I am a bit worried about leaving Andrew on his own as there are a few things he still can't do. But the movement in his arm is improving and he starts phsyio tomorrow. I would also hate to come home from Echuca to find the house looks like a bomb has hit it! I do hope one of his daughters will come and stay with him for a few days.

After a teary day yesterday, I am striving for a positive day today!!

A needle in my tummy!

I have had another appointment with the surgeon. He showed a great amount of sympathy for me regarding the swelling and discomfort I have been having. He was concerned that I had been so unwell while taking the last dose of antibiotics. He had me up on the examination table in no time and was filling my tummy with local anesthetic. He then used a huge needle and syringe to take out the mucky fluid under my skin. He took out just over a cup full and sent a sample to Pathology. I did feel some relief, but I think I was also benefiting from the local anesthetic as today I again have the same swelling and discomfort.

I am waiting on the Pathology results which should be in this afternoon. The surgeon is waiting to see what infection is present, so he can prescribe the right antibiotics.

I was looking through some of the information I had printed off the Internet regarding this type of surgery and found a bit about this excess fluid and that it is a normal complication in the healing process. So while I know I am not dying.......... I can try to stay positive that it will be fixed and I will feel normal again! I just wish it would hurry up and I would lose the swelling!

My return to work has been delayed another couple of weeks also. I'm not so concerned about this as I know I could not manage a day at work just yet. My boss is being super supportive and is happy to change things around for me at work so that I can come back part time until I am ready for full time again.

I wish I could be writing the ideal recovery post, that all is well and on track and I am doing super! But unfortunately, this is taking a lot longer that anticipated. But then I have had 12 kg of skin and whatever else taken from my body, so the body is going to need a good length of time to adjust!

I do have a good part of my suture line healing perfectly and not giving me any grief. So I am grateful for that. I am also managing to do a 20 minute walk every day. Some days it is a very painful walk, but I am happy to be out using my legs!! My body has been tuned to exercise daily, and my psychy is having trouble understanding that I can't do what I was doing!! I try not to push myself too hard, but I can't sit in a chair all day! I also have to be able to make the bed, do the washing, make the meals and do the dishes. Andrew is still recovering and very slowly regaining use of his broken arm/shoulder. He starts physio next week which should help. My sister is helping out as much as she can, but she has her own little family to look after and is also in the midst of packing up their lives to move to New Zealand for next year!! I don't like to burden her too much.

Well, it has to be positive thinking from now on........................

It all feels so weird!!

Every day something else feels a bit different and I am having to cope with another strange sensation around my middle!! I'm not wearing the tubigrip support all the time now, so I am able to feel different things. The skin that has been stretched down my body is starting to loose its numbness, so I am having weird sensations and tingling. I wouldn't call it pain, but it is such a strange tight feeling. Sometimes I also describe it as pulling or stiffness. Sometimes it feels as if I have tight rubber bands going around my hips and other times when I stand up I feel as if everything is going to break apart. I often have the feeling that I have been cut in half and put back together again!! Which I suppose in a sense I have!!!

Ohhhhh is this worth it!!!!

The surgeon advised that my skin would also slacken a bit but this would also sort itself out naturally and with his help the next time I have surgery. I have that happening now. I still have some swelling but I'm not entirely sure what is swelling and what is a bit of the skin sagging.

I certainly don't feel glamorous just yet, and I am still fighting a bit of the infection. I tried a little trip to the local shops yesterday but was absolutely exhausted after two shops and the supermarket. I didn't even feel that exhausted after running the 5.5km in the Melbourne Marathon. I did manage to buy a couple of tops to wear!! I also wish that helping Andrew didn't tire me out so much. He tries to do as much for himself as he can, but there are just some things you can't do with one arm!!

My expected return to work date is under 2 weeks away now, but at this stage I don't feel anywhere near ready for work. I see the surgeon again next week, so will reassess returning to work with him. I'm not rushing back if I am not ready!!

Andrew and I had to try sleeping apart last night. He is still quite restless with pain and finds it hard to get a comfortable sleeping position and when he moves in the bed it is a bit like an earthquake!! I get woken up and jolted a bit. But we both need better sleep to aid in our recoveries. I did have a better sleep with Andrew in the other room, but was still woken by my bladder and the cat!! Poor Andrew is beside himself with boredom though!!

But on a positive note, I am up and about, I am able to sleep a lot better in the bed, I have enough energy to get a meal together, I don't have a big sack of skin hanging in front of me, and I am loved by Andrew!!

THIS IS NOT EASY!!!!

I'm feeling quite disappointed with a slight set back!

Yesterday started off ok, I showered and dressed without too much trouble. Then I helped Andrew with his bathing, hair washing and dressing. I then did a small load of washing. I carried one or two items outside at a time and hung them on a low clothes line. After a bit of a rest Andrew and I went for an easy walk of 15 - 20 minutes. (I had decided that yesterday was the start of my gentle exercise regime - a walk in the morning and afternoon).

When we got home from the walk I felt tired, but thought this was a normal feeling related to going for the walk. But I didn't improve. As the day went on I felt more and more unwell and weak. I started having the cold chills and then feeling hot! I took my temperature and found it was up. I had already spoken to my surgeon about the oozing from a small part of my suture line and its very red color, but I was told that it was normal and because I felt well on the day I spoke to the surgeon, he said not to worry too much. But because now I was unwell and with a temperature, I feared I did have an infection.

Once again my sister to the rescue who made the necessary phone calls and miraculously got me to a local GP under direction of my surgeon's nurse and had antibiotics prescribed. I got home to what was the worst 12 hours of chills and sweats and feeling yuk with a throbbing headache.

But today I have woken a bit better and throughout the day have felt mildly better. I feel quite weak and I have been told I still look quite pale and exhausted. Even though I told my mum I could manage, she decided to come back to help me. She had only just gone home to Echuca on Tuesday!! I feel terrible that she hasn't had a decent rest.

It is so hard coping with my own recovery plus having Andrew going through his own recovery and needing help with things. He tries so hard to help me with his limited capacity and I try hard to help him. But this isn't easy!!!!! I am back in the stage of wondering just what have I done to myself and why did I do this and there is no way I am going back for any more surgery!!! I know these feelings will pass again as they have every other time I have them. But it is so discouraging to not recover at the pace I want to. I know I push myself, but I have taught myself to push my body over the past 2 years to get to this point. I am used to going the extra mile to get the good results. But I need to learn that this isn't the time to be pushing myself.

I have had visitors in today which is just so great. I get lovely comments all the time and friends really care. My sister and mum have done so much to help me and Andrew. My sister's kids are great when they pop in also. So loving and very easy to amuse. I was just tickled pink to walk into my bedroom a little while ago to find them on the bed with Andrew helping them to play a game on the X - box.